A very flustered Luxembourg mother who visited 23 pharmacies and supermarkets in search of hand sanitizer made a last-ditch effort in the capital on Wednesday night, asking a group of drug dealers if they could hook her up.
The mother, 39, cruised around the Gare’s side streets for more than an hour before she happened upon a group of candidates hanging out on Rue Aldolphe Fisher.
“Excuse me, bonsoir, moien,” said the mother through the rolled-down window of her Volvo. “Yes, hi gentlemen. I’m really sorry to bother you, but I need something.”
Within seconds she was surrounded by four dealers all wearing the same brandless sports shoes.
“Bonsoir madame,” said one, presumably the senior dealer. “You want hash? Qu’est ce que vous voulez?”
The woman tried to remember the words for “hand” and “clean” in French, but all she could come up with was the word for soap.
“Savon avec alcool?” she said. “Alcool? Hands?”
She then gestured the shape of a bottle, leading the group to speculate in another language that the woman simply wanted to get drunk.
“Madame, you want drink alcohol, you go to bar,” said the leader. “You want something else, I get it for you. Tell me what you want.”
“I need some alcohol-based hand sanitizer, for my family,” she said. “I want the good stuff.”
The youngest member of the group understood and explained to the leader who issued a sharp whistle, sending the others scurrying.
“Not that shit they sell with the scented facial soaps in the beauty aisle,” the woman shouted. “I want 100 percent pure, uncut hand sanitizer. Or 70 percent pure, as the case may be.”
Minutes later, one of the junior dealers returned with a half-empty 250 milliliter bottle of gel wrapped in aluminum foil. Uncapping it, the mother took a deep whiff, said “mmm, that’s it baby, mama’s coming home,” handed the dealer 50 euros, and drove away.