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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

New Gare-area homeowners telling selves drug dealers ‘add to the charm’

May 13, 2019

Luxembourg Gare drug dealersLUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A couple who recently purchased and moved into a two-bedroom flat near the Gare are trying to convince themselves that having drug dealers line their street at night is actually a bonus to living in the neighborhood.

“Pickpockets, beggars, those guys who pass out in our doorway, and the people who sell hard drugs, they’re what make this area so colorful,” said Beatrice Hoebeek, who with her husband Tom bought the 875,000-euro flat last month after only visiting it during the day. “That’s why we love it here, and who are we to judge others for how they earn a living?”

“The drug dealers don’t do us any actual harm,” said Tom. “That is, as long as you keep your eyes down when they approach you at the cash machine, which happens to me whenever I go to withdraw money after the sun goes down.”

“But even if three of them surround you, they won’t rob you, probably just follow you around for a few blocks saying, ‘psst, hey pappy, buy some hash,’ which adds to their charm,” he continued. “Sometimes their playful menacing becomes too real, and I pretend like I’m in the movie ‘Run Lola Run’ and I sprint home, but it’s all for fun.”

“Anyway, drug dealers probably scare away other, more dangerous criminals,” Beatrice said. “Having them around is a kind of a security feature, and I’m thinking we should actually be paying them for their service.”

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