When we agree to move in with a romantic partner, we’re often unaware of their annoying habits, habits that are now painfully obvious – like a stick stuck in our eyes and ears. Here are the six most common.
Cleaning but not the way we like it
Now that they’re at home 24 hours a day, many partners want to help out with household chores like doing the dishes, which is a nice gesture.
Yet they don’t even bother to put away the clean dishes or tidy up the sink area when they’re finished. These people are sick in the head.
Taking up space
Sure, everybody, including our partners, wants to take advantage of space from time to time, whether that’s by stretching out on the sofa with their bony legs and knobbly knees all visible, or by taking up 55 percent of surface area on the bed.
And this is driving us insane. Our partners should move into the cellar until this whole thing is over.
Trying to give input on household affairs
The very idea of a partnership suggests mutual respect and the sharing of power, which is a sensible and healthy way to co-exist.
But not at home, and certainly not now. We had a pretty good dictatorship thing going before this stupid virus showed up, and if they have any survival instinct, our partners will keep their dumb ideas about the children’s scedule to themselves.
Eating is important to staying healthy, yes, even at a time when going to the supermarket feels like playing Russian roulette.
But we ate breakfast only seven hours ago and now our partners are already poking around the refrigerator like some kind of sneaky pregnant badger? Bears don’t eat during hibernation, so why should our partners?
Sure, our partners are human and just like us, they need to breathe, not only because of their body’s need for oxygen but because they’ve been breathing since they were born.
And can’t they take a break from time to time, let’s say between 6 and 9 p.m.? Those nasally inhalations are unbearable, you hear? Unbearable!
Despite the doom-and-gloom scenarios propagated by the media, many partners think we’ll get through this if we remain calm and a little cheerful.
And they might be right, but after we’ve binged on coronavirus articles for three hours, the most annoyig thing to see is our partner’s idiotic smile as he holds up two bottles of hand sanitizer and says, “Does the madame prefer a 2019 Gel antibactérien sans rinçage or a 2020 Gel mains desinfectant thé vert?”