The 27-year-old man’s girlfriend says she is victimized by his obsolete jokes at least once a day.
On Sunday, she hurried to their bedroom after the man claimed he was feeling unwell and feared he had the “corona thing.” When she found him drinking a Corona beer, he burst into laughter.
“Hilarious,” she said. “Well, it would have been during a narrow two-day period in early February.”
And despite the fact that no supermarket in Europe has run out of toilet paper since the early days of the pandemic, the man still frequently attempts to make amusing remarks about the topic.
“He took a selfie in front of, I don’t know, 30 or 40 rolls of paper, and posted it on Facebook with the caption ‘Being rich in 2020 be like…,’” said a friend from university. “The joke was so awful and dated, I immediately unfriended him.”
The man also continues to find humor in hand sanitizer, even though its importance has diminished, and it hasn’t been considered fresh comedy material since the start of April.
During a FaceTime session with his sister, the man revealed a 250-milliliter bottle of the alcohol-based liquid. Making his best Gollum face, he stroked the bottle and said “my precioussss.”
Embarrassed, the woman turned off her tablet, requested to officially change her last name, and moved to a remote logging camp in northern Finland.
Sources do indicate, however, that following hundreds of complaints and a serious loss of friends, the man has made an effort to update his humor. On Monday morning, he Zoom-bombed his girlfriend’s work meeting and announced to her colleagues that she wasn’t wearing pants.
Experts say that although the comedic act was “passable,” it was still outdated because Zoom pranks of that sort went out of fashion “at least three weeks ago.”