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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Positive test results no longer merit sympathy, man learns

January 19, 2022

Luxembourg man Covid positiveA Luxembourg man who recently tested positive for Covid-19 has been forced to come to terms with the fact that such a revelation is now of little consequence to others and will earn him no sympathy.

“Just got some really bad news from the lab,” the single 32-year-old posted on his various social media accounts on Wednesday morning. “Positive for Covid. Send your thoughts. #meditation #strength.”

This was followed by a string of sad-face emojis punctuated with a praying hands emoji. 

Six hours and only two hug emojis later, the first of three short comments was posted. 

“First time?” commented a coworker. 

“Can I borrow your bike?” wrote a friend.

“Your sister got over it in 3 days,” the man’s mother responded. 

After spending the rest of the day waiting for an outpouring of support that never came, the man decided to take matters into his own hands.

Using a fake Facebook profile with the name Regina Pitt, under his original post he commented, “Scary! I am so worried about you. I hope you have some friends who will bring you food and check on you. Prayers.”

The fake comment prompted three more real comments, after which the man understood that the world is a cold, uncaring place.

“It’s 2022 not 2020,” wrote one friend.

“WeDely,” commented another.

“Nice try, ‘Regina,’” said a third.

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Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article

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