In what is being compared to having a scary uncle with bad breath and misshapen thumbs who’s been living upstairs for the last five years, a father in Luxembourg punctuates his text messages, it has been revealed.
Despite his teenager daughter’s pleas for him to stop, Daniel Woorde, 44, insists that not only is he right to use periods, commas, and apostrophes “in a proper manner, in all forms of written communication,” but that he will do so until he takes his dying breath.
Woorde’s daughter Sophie estimates that she’s lost as many as six months of her life due to worrying that her friends might one day learn about her family’s dark secret. She also fears it might prevent her from ever having a boyfriend or a normal life.
“Literally no one else uses full stops in text messages,” Sophie said. “Even my friends’ grandparents know better. I’m living a personal hell. I’m only fifteen, but I’m already getting gray hair.”
Woorde’s wife Trisha has confirmed that the entire family suffers because of his fanatical obsession.
“Sophie has vowed that when she turns sixteen next year, she’s going to run away to join a band of guerrilla fighters in South America just to get away from the nightmare that is her daily life,” she said. “Our son Ryan is already twelve, but he refuses any offer for a smartphone because he’s so fearful that he might wake up one morning and see that his father has sent him a punctuated message.”