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Knock A Shining Dog

Uh-oh: Luxlait cow almost out of milk

February 20, 2018

Luxlait milk cowROOST — In what’s being called “a reason to actually cry over spilt milk,” Luxembourg’s largest milk distributor has announced that its dairy cow is almost out of milk.

Sandy, the company’s 29-story Norwegian Red that has been providing much of Luxembourg with milk since 2001, is nearly empty, according to Laurent Spautz, Sandy’s caretaker.

“She’s had a good run, and she’s given us about 210 million liters, but it looks like the old girl is almost dry,” Spautz said. “She’s got another 20,000 or 30,000 liters left, enough to get us through to next week, but after that we’ll be pouring UHT into our coffee, at least for a bit.”

Company officials say that the supply of UHT milk will easily be enough to fulfill the country’s needs until this summer, but they are hard at work negotiating the purchase of a pair of 25-story Holstein Friesian heifers from a breeder in Germany.

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