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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘Well, they shouldn’t have made Putin angry,’ says local domestic abuser

March 2, 2022

A domestic abuser who insists that he is opposed to Russia’s attack on Ukraine also says that we should not have made Putin angry. 

“We know that Vladimir Putin doesn’t want to hurt anyone unless someone gives him a good reason,” the domestic abuser said. “It’s the same way with me, in my house, like when my wife talks back or when my kids eat cereal really loudly while I’m watching highlights of an important football match.”

“Then I teach them a lesson,” the domestic abuser added. “Which is, I guess, that I am a thin-skinned bully.”

The domestic abuser says that although it is clear that Putin has overreacted somewhat, the Russian president is simply the sort of man who wants people to respect his authority, “which sometimes requires some knocking around.”

“Whoever made him angry has to accept the blame, and I’m not victim-blaming, but the victims really ought be be blamed because if they had not stepped out of line, none of this would have happened, and we wouldn’t have a broken table in our living room that will cost a lot of money to fix.”

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