• Expats
  • Grand Duchy of Luxembourg
    • Real Estate
    • Transportation
    • Luxembourg City
    • Politics and Government
    • Education
    • Luxembourgish Customs
    • Luxembourg History
    • Royal Family of Luxembourg
    • Finance and Banking
    • Business
  • Languages
    • Luxembourgish
    • French
    • German
  • Workplace
  • Leisure and Lifestyle
    • Holidays and Events
      • Schueberfouer
      • Christmas Market
      • Bazar International
    • Dining and Nightlife
    • Shopping
    • Parenting
    • Health
    • Luxembourg Wurst Magazine
    • Interviews and Profiles
    • Opinion
      • Wise Expat Sage
  • Greater Region
    • Belgium

Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘Get in our way and we’ll breathe in your face,’ Luxembourg joggers remind public

April 8, 2020

Luxembourg jogger coronavirusLuxembourg joggers have issued a reminder that if they approach you on the sidewalk and you don’t get out of their way, they’re going to breathe in your face, but only for a moment, and in any case you shouldn’t be alarmed. 

“I’m a fitness addict who hasn’t had a cold in six years, so there’s no way I’m carrying the virus,” explained Natasha, a 29-year-old jogger from Cents. “If you’re afraid of the clean exhalations of healthy strangers, you’ve got a phobia. I know a good therapist. I’ll give you his number.”

Matteo, a 33-year-old jogger from Bereldange, says it’s physically impossible for him to transmit germs to anyone he passes.

“I run so fast that I create an updraft of air that carries any virus particles I might breathe out into the lower atmosphere where they’re zapped by UV rays,” he said. “They fall back to Earth as flakes that are so harmless, kids can play in them.”

Another jogger named Virellia, who is known to take up entire sidewalks from Walferdange all the way down to Gasperich, says that pedestrians are the problem.

“My online fitness coach says I need to jog at least 35 kilmeters in the open air every week, so I’ve got no choice in the matter,” she said. “If families and old people want to go on a walk, they can do it in their living rooms.”

“We’re all in this pandemic together,” she added. “I’ll do my part by staying fit, and you do your part by staying out of my way.”

The Idiot of St. Benedict - Black Fountain Press
Luxembourg Wurst t-shirts and hoodies on Amazon

Check out our archives of 800+ articles, enough to make your eyes bleed!

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Leisure and Lifestyle

Luxembourg Wurst t-shirts and hoodies

Follow the Wurst

Follow the Wurst FacebookFollow the Wurst Twitter

The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!

The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!
Schueberfauer game

New Schueberfouer game in which you just toss wads of cash into basket and that’s it

Luxembourger Burger King

Luxembourg, Burger King to merge

Which souvenir are you bringing back for your colleagues?

Schueberfouer statue Luxembourg

Schueberfouer monument to honor the hundreds of bankers buried under Glacis parking lot

Expat in Luxembourg

Expat only interested in ‘the best’ everything

About the Luxembourg Wurst

Disclaimer

Contact Us

Luxembourg Wurst © 2023