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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Woman quits job to troll expats page full-time

January 21, 2021

Expat troll Luxembourg FacebookA woman who moved to Luxembourg last year has quit her job to devote more time to her passion, which is trolling an expats Facebook page with the most ridiculous and weirdly specific questions she can imagine.

Her initial contact with the group was last January, when she jokingly asked how many unicyclist associations there are in Luxembourg, assuming she would be ignored. Instead, she received a dozen thoughtful responses.

“I couldn’t tell if the people were mocking me or not, so I took it to the next level,” she said.

What followed was a series of increasingly inane posts asking for the neighborhoods with the most artistic sidewalks, a company specialized in transporting antique bidets, and a Tamil- or Navajo-speaking veterinarian with expertise in hamster psychiatry. 

Another time, she asked if it’s better to use a 50-cent coin or a plastic token to unlock supermarket carts, sparking a passionate debate that is still going on six months later.

Only once did someone appear to recognize her as a troll, suggesting she was “lazy” and should “use Google” when she asked where to buy ketchup-flavored pretzels.

However, the next day the same person provided a carefully worded reply when she asked for the administrative steps to open a gymnastics school for goldfish.

“I never dreamed that soliciting useless advice and opinions from strangers could be so much fun and become a source of joy, yet here I am,” she said. “I should have been doing this my whole life.”

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