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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘You can thank us with booze,’ say Luxembourg nurses

May 13, 2020

Nurses Luxembourg COVID-19The thousands of nurses in Luxembourg who are now regarded as heroes say that while they appreciate the kind words from strangers and baskets of fruit, what they’d really like is some booze.

“The thank-you card those kids gave me was very touching,” said Silvie, a 29-year-old nurse who works at the CHL. “But what would be even more touching is a bottle of top-notch tequila.”

“Not that crap you mix with orange juice when you’ve run out of everything else, but the good stuff you got in Mexico back in 2016 that you’ve been saving,” she added. “I’m ready. Little-known fact: urine sample containers make excellent shot glasses.” 

Matteo, a 39-year-old nurse from Esch who does home visits, says that while he appreciates the people who used to lean out their windows and applaud, he’d prefer for people to lean out their windows and throw him some beer.

“Any standard lager is fine, as long as it’s cold,” he said. “But if you really want to show your gratitude when you see me walking down the street, you can toss me a bottle or two of Belgian tripel, minimum 9.5 percent alcohol, the stuff that’s so strong it’ll make you feel like you smoked a joint.”

Monique, a 51-year-old nurse from Ettlebruck, says that she’s been so overwhelmed, she’ll be happy with any sort of booze, no matter the taste, quality, or provenance.

“It’s not like I’m going to drink it,” she said. “I’ve got the drip all set up. I’m going to administer that shit intravenously.”

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Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Workplace

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