Tech giant Elon Musk has demanded that Luxembourg give up the x in its name, saying that the letter is a registered trademark and belongs to him and his social media platform. “Are your X are belong to us,” he said in a post, informally known as a xeet, formerly known as a tweet. The […]
Using Facebook Marketplace ‘fastest way to becoming a raging misanthrope’
A team of researchers from the University of Wiltz have concluded that the surest way to become a raging misanthrope is by attempting to use Facebook Marketplace. “Even seemingly loving, peaceful people quickly turn into contempt-filled people haters after trying to buy or sell anything on the platform,” said Dr. Fernand Feuri, who published the […]
In utero phones: the right choice for your baby
When you have a baby, you want the best for her. Even during a pregnancy, you’re probably worried about making the right choices. Some expectant parents might wonder if smartphone use has a negative impact on the child. What they should be asking is: is an in utero smartphone right for my baby? The answer […]
5 ways to present Luxembourgish culture to the new expat family – and they’re gone
You’ve just met a family that has moved here from your home country. Best of all, they’re your type of people: easygoing, lively, and always up for trying new things. Here are five ways you can introduce the local culture to them. Luxembourgish cuisine Admittedly, you personally have never tried traditional Luxembourgish dishes such as […]
New shop in center offers usual stuff but at ‘twice the price’
A new shop in the center of Luxembourg City has already attracted a dedicated customer base, namely those who are drawn by the concept of paying significantly more for the same stuff. “The idea is simple,” Audrey Lambert, owner of Double Prix. “We offer a little bit of everything – food, personal hygiene items, cleaning […]
Cashier turns away, attaches blindfold, puts bag over head while you enter PIN
What started as a charade that you initially found goofy and unnecessary has turned into a full-fledged commitment to respecting your confidential banking information. After dining at a restaurant with your partner on Thursday, you approached the cashier station to pay with a debit card. When prompted to enter your PIN, the cashier made a […]
No, please don’t: man thanks people who invite him to connect on LinkedIn
A man for whom online professional networking is apparently a new and mystifying innovation has been thanking people who invite him to connect on LinkedIn. The latest flub occurred last Thursday when Henrick Keller received just such an invitation from Anna Lakatos. “Hello Anna, many thanks for your invitation to connect here in LinkedIn-land,” Keller […]
Well, it’s a start: Gare dealer offers drugs in Luxembourgish
Calling it a mixed blessing, officials have confirmed that a Luxembourg City drug dealer has used Luxembourgish to offer drugs to a passerby. The utterance occurred on Monday afternoon on Rue de Hollerich when the dealer said “wat sichs du?” to a man on his way to a bus stop. Officials say that while the […]
Ghost of beheaded St. Valentine wishes couple a romantic evening
The ghost of St. Valentine, who according to legend was ordered to be beheaded by Roman emperor Claudius II in the third century, has shown up in Luxembourg to wish a local couple a happy, romantic dinner in his honor. The headless specter, wearing the same clothes as on that day more than 1,700 years […]
Ease into sleep by switching from TV to laptop, tablet, then phone
A Steinsel woman and bedtime routine advocate says she readies herself for sleep with a slow, relaxing transition from watching a series on her television and then switching to her laptop before moving on to her tablet and finally her smartphone. “A lot of people think you can just hop right into bed with your […]
You can make any dish ‘Mexican’ with random sweet red sauce, confirm Europeans
Nearly every restaurant in Europe has confirmed that all it takes to make any dish a “Mexican” dish is putting some random sweet red sauce on top. “See, here’s a regular burger,” said a cook at a restaurant in Amsterdam that specializes in hamburgers. “But after I squirt on it some sweet red sauce which […]
Dying bacteria in man’s gut commandeer his body and force him to eat half kilo of sugar
Millions of dying bacteria in a Luxembourg man’s intestinal tract have sprung back to life after they commandeered his body and made him walk into his kitchen and consume 550 grams of pure sugar. The bacteria had become increasingly lethargic in the preceding days as Dan Scott gave up alcoholic beverages and, to the bacteria’s […]