Several individual variants of the so-called UK coronavirus strain that have been identified in Luxembourg in recent days have already taken steps to obtain Luxembourgish nationality, according to the viruses themselves.
All of the mutated viruses have already signed up for online Luxembourgish courses, and they’ve also begun seeking advice and tips in expat forums. Each of the viruses claims a preexisting link to Luxembourg, whether through ancestry, affinity, or mere fondness.
“It’s been said that my great-grandmother had intimate relations with a Luxembourgish gentleman in the 1930s,” said VUI-202012/01-4739M, who moved to Luxembourg from Bristol. “Of course, my grandfather was already born then, so there’s no chance I’ve got Luxembourgish blood, but the relations should count for something.”
Another variant that goes by the name VUI-202012/01-9288A claims it’s been living in London all its life, has “a continental lifestyle,” has “always voted Labour,” and has no affinity with those who voted for Brexit.
“While other viruses have contented themselves with hanging out with and infecting pig farmers in Norfolk, I’ve been attracted to cosmopolitan, multilingual hosts,” it said. “Luxembourg is a great place for me, with people from all over the world, and I feel I’ll really be able to make a home here.”
“It was always my dream to become Luxembourgish,” said another variant named VUI-202012/01-0931Y, which grew up near Cardiff. “That is, once I Googled it last week to find out where it is.”