A roll of toilet paper, which is being called “the last of its kind,” has been sold in London for more than half of a million euros. The sale was made at Christie’s auction house on Wednesday, where the bidding started at fifty cents and quickly shot up. It’s not clear if the anonymous buyer […]
EU lifts ban on exclamation marks in news headlines!
Saying that extraordinary circumstances call for extraordinary measures, the European agency in charge of regulating punctuation in news headlines has announced it is lifting the ban on exclamation marks! “We don’t want news agencies to create panic, but we do want them to be able to convey the urgency of today’s news stories!” says a […]
Irish English replaces British English as EU working language
Following the departure of the United Kingdom from the European Union at the end of January, the EU has announced that Irish English will replace British English as the union’s primary working language. The change, effective immediately, was announced on Monday by European Commission president Ursula Gertrud von der Leyen, who says the unity of […]
Bettel to take empty podium on 28-nation world tour
In a move that will delight his supporters, Luxembourg prime minister Xavier Bettel has announced he’s going on a 28-nation world tour, and joining him will be the very podium that earned him so much international attention earlier this week. The podium, 130 centimetres in height and made from locally sourced wood, catapulted Bettel to […]
‘Franglais’ recognised as official EU language
Amid shouts of “c’est très good” and “at longue last,” Franglais has become the 24th official language of the European Union. Franglais, a blend of French and English, has been spoken for centuries by the upper echelons of both francophone and anglophone societies, usually by those wishing to seem educated and worldly even as they’re […]