A team of anthropologists from the University of Wiltz say they’ve found evidence that ancient peoples in this part of Europe used to engage in bizarre touching rituals when they encountered other members of their tribe. “According to what we’ve discovered, men used to unite their right hands and bounce them up and down three […]
Government: you may now have up to five people in your home as long as one of them is a government spokesperson and you serve good snacks
A senior Luxembourg government spokesperson has given a press conference to clarify the rules about how many guests residents are allowed to have in their homes, saying that under certain circumstances the number can exceed four. “Technically, you may include a fifth person as long as that person is a government spokesperson and you serve […]
Government giving out 5 golden tickets to choose whichever vaccine you want
While most people in Luxembourg have to take the vaccine offered to them, a lucky five residents will get to choose the one they want. “Those who find a golden ticket hidden in an otherwise ordinary letter from the government will be able to pick the vaccine of their dreams,” said program director Gui Vonka. […]
Report: Luxembourg must have got shagged over the weekend
A country that had been in a sour mood since November must have been massively shagged over the weekend, sources have claimed. According to colleagues, Luxembourg showed up to work on Monday morning grinning, smelling of passion, and humming the song “Walking on Sunshine.” “Hey, moien, et geet!” Luxembourg said when it threw the office […]
Boss admits she’s been sticking her tongue out at everyone all this time
One of the founding partners of a respected Luxembourg law firm has announced that ever since it became mandatory last year to wear masks in the office, she’s been unable to stop sticking out her tongue at everyone. “Because I’m impatient and ill-tempered, people might have assumed those were puffs of air pushing my mask […]
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