Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘Revenge is sweet,’’ say Euro 2020 sponsors

Following a snub in which high-profile Euro 2020 players moved strategically placed sponsored products during a press conference, the aggrieved companies have announced they are plotting revenge.  “Cute stunt Ronaldo, but we’ve got you and your little sports league right by the contract,” said Coca-Cola spokesperson Jacqueline Brand. “If you don’t want to face serious […]

Top football clubs to form Awesome League instead

Agreeing that the idea of a Super League was terrible from the outset, the 12 football clubs involved in the plan have announced they will instead form an Awesome League.  “When we first told you about our intention, the backlash was fierce and instantaneous,” said Real Madrid president Florentino Pérez. “We admit our terrible mistake, […]

British variants in Luxembourg already seeking nationality 

Several individual variants of the so-called UK coronavirus strain that have been identified in Luxembourg in recent days have already taken steps to obtain Luxembourgish nationality, according to the viruses themselves. All of the mutated viruses have already signed up for online Luxembourgish courses, and they’ve also begun seeking advice and tips in expat forums. […]

Schengen to be broken into 26 little Schengens

BRUSSELS — Admitting that it’s no longer accurate to describe the 26-country area as a free-movement zone, European leaders have decided to carefully divide the Schengen area into 26 individual Schengen areas. European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen says that following a Zoom chat with national leaders, everyone agreed that it’s silly to go […]