Several French employees of a Luxembourg marketing firm were held hostage for more than 20 minutes on Thursday after an anglophone joined their conversation. “Attendez, just a second, wait, er, how do you say, wait, I got it, je suis d’accord,” the anglophone said in response to what she thought was a discussion about typical […]
Fearless band of expats venture into working-class neighborhood bar
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Amid battle cries and hastily composed text messages bidding goodbye to loved ones, a group of brave expats ventured into a neighborhood working-class bar. The expats, who normally only go to trendy pubs where servers speak flawless English accented with just the right amount of irony and automatically slide you an imported IPA […]
Everyone getting Luxembourgish nationality except you
A new report from the Ministry of Expat Affairs has confirmed that everyone in Luxembourg who is not already Luxembourgish will be by the middle of next year — with the notable exception of you. “Becoming Luxembourgish is, like, super quick and fun, and seriously man, everyone is doing it,” said Minister Paul Baresi. “Honestly, […]
Anglophone unable to pronounce ‘vin chaud’
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — An expat’s valiant effort to order seasonal mulled wine ended in catastrophic failure on Sunday after vendors at Luxembourg’s Christmas market couldn’t understand what he was saying. During several tense minutes, the 39-year-old anglophone tried to express that he wanted “vin chaud,” trying variations that included van chowed, vine show, and even voucher. […]
Sad: nobody will visit couple in Thionville
An expat couple who moved from Luxembourg to Thionville in search of cheaper housing have been unable to persuade anyone to visit them, according to friends who are regularly badgered to make the arduous journey. “Thionville is quite close, literally 30 kilometers away,” Phil Kulik told friends during a night out in Clausen last weekend. […]