Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Half of Luxembourg population turn into slugs

In a sudden, nation-wide transformation that began earlier this week, at least half of Luxembourg’s some 600,000 human residents have transformed into slugs.  “Just leave me alone, okay?” gurgled one slug named Serenella, who was spotted on Thursday slinking off to the Walferdange restaurant she manages. “At this pace, it’s going to take me forever […]

Luxembourg mother forced to circle climate march 5 times before finding kid

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Emphasizing that her daughter specifically said she’d hang out at the edge of the Kinnekswiss park to be picked up following a climate march on Friday, a Luxembourg mother has been forced to circle the gathering for a fifth time.  “Nadia promised she’d be there at 2:45 p.m.,” the mother said, glancing at […]

Luxembourg housewife has wild fantasy in which sweaty workers come to her house to say they’ve finished roadworks on her street

A resident of Luxembourg City has confessed to her closest friends that for months she’s been devising “an erotic but totally unrealistic” fantasy scenario in which the muscled young men who have spent the last year working on her street enter her home and announce they’ve finished. “I know, I know, it will never happen,” […]

Investigators: classmate in oversized Marc Jacobs dress got it from second-hand shop

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A mystery that baffled private school students for an entire morning has been solved thanks to the hard work of two teenage detectives.  When Brianna Dorian, 14, showed up at school on Tuesday wearing a Marc Jacobs silk midi dress, classmates had plenty of questions. How could she afford such a dress? And […]