Saying the diabolical traffic knot is too evil to be wasted on living souls anyway, the guardian of the underworld known as Satan has reclaimed the old Irrgarten roundabout. The roundabout was created millenia ago by a cadre of demon road engineers whose goal was to torture carriage drivers condemned to Hell, but it was […]
Virus wonders if host trying to get it drunk
A COVID-19 virus particle hanging out on a Rollingen woman’s left hand has expressed concerns that she’s trying to get it drunk. “Another round already?” the virus said after Bettina Mueller covered her hands in sanitizer for the third time in an hour on Wednesday afternoon. “Probably not a good idea, lady.” “But okay,” it […]
Luxembourg man develops terrible cough, immediately goes to gym
A Luxembourg City man who developed a terrible cough on Tuesday acted quickly by rushing to a packed gym. Claude Grover, who works for a local architecture firm, says that going to a warm, stuffy space with 100 people exerting themselves and gasping for air is just the thing to treat whatever he’s got. “Germs […]
Guy in mask ruins party for everyone
ALZINGEN – What started off as a fun evening of alcohol, grilled food, and the casual expulsion of millions of virus particles was quickly ruined when a friend showed up wearing a face mask. Just an hour into the BBQ, everyone was drunk enough to forget about the pandemic thing that has annoyed everyone for […]
Middle-aged business traveller at Gare cash machine obviously wants to be approached by drug dealer
THE GARE — Insisting he doesn’t like to use such sales tactics, a dealer who hangs out near the Luxembourg City train station says he’s got a very strong feeling that a middle-aged business traveller secretly wants to be approached while standing at a cash machine. The 27-year-old dealer admits that it’s not polite to […]
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