LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A woman who is relatively new to the Grand Duchy has found herself “totally perplexed” by a cryptic booklet she mysteriously received in the mail last month. Michelle Hedeman, an Amazon employee who was transferred to Luxembourg in March, says that immediately upon inspecting the 122-page manuscript, she knew it contained secrets. “Page after […]
Luxembourg office worker awarded for outstanding sick performances
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A steel company employee known to fake illness at least twice a month has been recognized for her tremendous achievements in acting. At its annual awards ceremony on Friday, the Luxembourg Work Actors’ Guild awarded Aurélie Bardol the Best Acting Sick prize, a golden statuette of a man calling in sick while simultaneously […]
Lunchtime horror: pack of feral bankers go on rampage through Auchan
KIRCHBERG — Hundreds of savage bank employees swarmed into the Auchan commercial centre around 12:30 p.m. on Friday, fanning out in every direction and cleaning out all of the estimated 1500 freshly made sandwiches in just over four minutes. Katrin Mikko, out shopping with her newborn son, was queuing at one of the downstairs bakeries […]
Faking sickness in Luxembourg: three easy steps
In some countries, faking sickness requires careful preparation and an acting performance worthy of an Oscar. Not in Luxembourg. Want a few days off just because it’s Tuesday, the weather is bad, or your cat ate all the Nutella again? Follow these three steps: Inform your boss In the morning, send an email saying […]
Party leaders exhausted after spending week removing campaign posters
Respecting a tradition that goes back hundreds of years, the leaders of Luxembourg’s political parties have spent a grueling week driving around the country, climbing ladders, and taking down their campaign posters one by one. “Sure, this isn’t as much fun as meeting world leaders and going to fancy parties, and I do get rather […]
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