Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

EU warns ‘we may never eradicate fist bumps’

Despite months of concerted effort from European and national agencies, the practice known as fist bumping will likely become a permanent fixture of the social fabric in Europe, the EU has warned. “Once upon a time, fist bumps were a relatively niche greeting practiced by urban youth, people with missing thumbs, and anyone suffering from […]

Government to lower housing prices by spreading rumor country has cooties

The government of Luxembourg has announced a plan to drastically reduce housing prices by spreading a rumor that the entire country has cooties. Cooties is a highly infectious and possibly imaginary disease that little boys often accuse little girls of having, claims to which girls then say, “No, you have cooties.” Officials say state employees […]

New €2.50 surcharge for blowing up cash machines

The agency that regulates Luxembourg’s banking sector has authorized a new surcharge to discourage people from igniting explosives inside the country’s thousands of cash machines. Starting next week, banks will be permitted to charge anyone who blows up a cash machine €2.50, in addition to other fees they might incur during the forcible removal of […]

Past Duck Race winners: where are they now?

Now that Duck Race season is here, you might be wondering what became of the previous years’ winners. Here are some of their stories.  Ducky McDuckface (2002) The Duckster. Duckarooni. Ducky McDuckface had many nicknames, not all of them nice. Despite a performance which observers called “unimaginative” and compared to “a piece of plastic being […]