Saying the only way to release the pent-up stress in the country is by creating a national holiday during which all crimes and antisocial behavior are permitted, Luxembourg officials have announced a yearly “purge.” Called Luxem-Purge in honor of the movie franchise that popularized the concept of an annual night of lawlessness, the event will […]
Positive test results no longer merit sympathy, man learns
A Luxembourg man who recently tested positive for Covid-19 has been forced to come to terms with the fact that such a revelation is now of little consequence to others and will earn him no sympathy. “Just got some really bad news from the lab,” the single 32-year-old posted on his various social media accounts […]
Luxembourg City woman afraid life just a series of meaningless visits to cute little new cafes
A Luxembourg City woman who neither has to work nor do housework has been struck by the terrible realization that life is nothing more than a series of meaningless visits to cute little new cafes. The 35-year-old, who has lived in the country since her husband took over as head of an asset management firm […]
Two years of hand sanitizer and it still tastes like crap
I’ll never forget when we first started hearing about the coronavirus back in early 2020, and we were advised to wear masks, avoid other people, and use hand sanitizer as much as we could. As for masking and social distancing, that’s been easy. It’s nice not having to shave or brush my teeth, and as […]
Teen bullied for not having had Covid
A Luxembourg City teenager who is the only one in his class to have never been infected by Covid-19 is being ridiculed for it, it has been revealed. Witnesses say that lycée student Pol Tanneur, 15, is targeted several times per day, with other students mocking him for his inexperience. “I have Covid, like, four […]
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