Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘We’ll improve cycling infrastructure when you stop wearing those shorts,’ VDL tells cyclists

In response to complaints from cyclists that Luxembourg City does little to make getting around on a bicycle easy, officials have promised to build the world’s best cycling infrastructure – if cyclists agree to stop wearing those ridiculous shorts.  “You’ll get dedicated bikeways all around the city, protected lanes on every street, and a safety […]

Tourist survives after being stranded for 7 days in Strassen

A tourist who got stranded in Strassen during a road trip across Europe has been found alive and well and with his mind mostly intact, according to rescuers.  Randall Cunicky and two friends were driving on the A6 motorway in Luxembourg last week when they experienced car trouble and took the Luxembourg City/Strassen exit. A […]

Luxembourg to allow people to live in underground caves as long as they call themselves ‘troglodytes’ and refer to homeowners as ‘my lord’ and ‘my lady’ 

Aware that the skyrocketing cost of property has caused many people in Luxembourg to reconsider staying in the country, officials have announced they will now allow low- and medium-income residents to live in underground caves. “This will allow people to continue benefiting from Luxembourg residency while avoiding what they see as extortionate housing prices,” says […]

Luxembourg to require muggers to speak all 3 languages

Saying that foreign thieves should give as much respect to Luxembourg as Luxembourg gives to them, anyone wishing to forcibly steal in public must now demonstrate proficiency in the three official languages.  Before entering into the increasingly popular field of violent street theft, aspiring muggers will have to pass a language exam administered by the INL, […]