Scientists from the University of Wiltz have issued a dire warning that the second wave of COVID-19 memes will almost certainly be much worse than the first. “What we saw from March through early summer was a proliferation of coronavirus-themed memes that actually sucked and got really old, really fast,” said Dr. Rufus Bard, who […]
NASA unable to find signs of life in Luxembourg
After spending nearly four weeks exploring the surface of Luxembourg City and its surroundings, a rover sent by the U.S. space agency NASA has failed to find signs of life here. “We had good reason to believe that there would be life in Luxembourg,” said project head Roberta Desoleet. “Through telescopes we’ve observed the existence […]
Scientists create microscopic dog for Luxembourg grandmothers
Saying that one of the country’s biggest problems has been solved, a team of scientists from Luxembourg have created the Nanohuahua, a microscopic dog that is finally small enough to please local grandmothers. “For too long, local grannies have been stuck getting dogs that are too big,” said Dr. Henrick Zolantin, who oversaw the University […]
Supercomputer ‘totally confused’ by plan to house it in Luxembourg
A European supercomputer scheduled to be installed in Luxembourg in 2020 has issued a sharp rebuke to the plan, saying you don’t need to be capable of performing quadrillions of calculations per second to figure out that it’s too expensive here. “I’m totally confused, because these people tell me I’m going to Luxembourg to help […]
7 minerals other than Luxembourgite that were discovered here
The discovery of a mineral dubbed Luxembourgite near an old mine earlier this year has received a lot of news coverage, but it’s not the only mineral the Grand Duchy can claim as its own. Listed below are seven others. Rentalium Depositate This mineral is found in recently vacated rentals. It’s formed when repeated pressure, […]