Luxembourg officials have announced they’re ready to take the next step in becoming an important global actor: create the country’s first international celebrity. “Develop our commercial space industry, check,” said Carlos Hombart of the Initiative for International Recognition. “Become the first country in the world to offer nation-wide, free public transport, check.” “Create the first […]
Catastrophe: Luxembourg City man loses scarf
A Luxembourg City man and member of the country’s largest scarf-appreciation club has lost his scarf, according to sources who observed him crying at work. “My scarf is my everything,” said Michael Saetang, a member of the Scarf Bros. since 2018. “Designer trousers, my beautiful silk ties, even my carefully matched shoes and belt mean […]
‘My mental state is fine,’ explains man to visiting delegation of household items
A Luxembourg man’s mental state is fine despite not having had a normal social interaction in nearly a year, he has insisted to a visiting delegation of household items. Among the visitors to the man’s Luxembourg City apartment were Deputy Deodorant of Luxembourg’s parliament, Prince Asparagus from the House of Auchan, and a coffee mug […]
Luxembourg variant ‘would not be aggressive, would keep to self’
Researchers at the University of Wiltz have claimed the existence of a Luxembourg variant of the SARS-CoV-2 virus is “ probable” but that no one would ever know about it and it would not have spread far. “If a Luxembourg variant existed, it would not be aggressive and it would mostly keep to itself,” says […]
Luxembourg ‘paid world’s mapmakers to exaggerate size’
In what’s being called Dwarfgate, investigators have uncovered a conspiracy to make Luxembourg appear bigger on maps. The goal of the plot, say investigators, was to increase Luxembourg’s international standing and provide the additional benefit of making neighboring countries paranoid. “This was a clear attempt by a country ranked 167 in terms of its geographical […]
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