A wolf that was sniffing around Luxembourg for a new den has announced that due to the high prices here, he and his pack have decided to live over the border in Belgium. “It would’ve been nice to live in Luxembourg,” the wolf said through his interpreter, a 26-year-old unshaved Belgian wolf whisperer named Loup. […]
Report: only people at work are those actually ill
A nationwide survey has revealed that the only people at work in Luxembourg today are those who are verifiably ill, whereas everyone who called in sick is exaggerating their symptoms, faking it, or staying home because everyone else is doing it and why be a fool. “The 134,438 pathetic individuals who pulled themselves out of […]
Gang of illegal car warmer-uppers operating in Luxembourg
Police in Luxembourg are asking the public to be on the lookout for members of a criminal gang who for weeks have been illegally warming up their cars in the morning. The suspects, whose ages range from the 20s to the 70s, are suspected of having operations all around the country, from parking spots in […]
Luxembourg brings in experts to salt the roads
Admitting that communes across the country have been unable to cope with the large amounts of snow that have fallen over the past few days, Luxembourg officials have hired dozens of Belgian friteries to take over the job of salting the roads. “Around midnight last night, we had a meeting to figure out what to […]
Thousands of car worshippers arrive for Lux Autofestival
Travelling by foot from as far away as Brussels, thousands of car worshippers are flocking to Luxembourg this weekend for the start of the annual celebration known as the Autofestival. The festival, which is held around this time every year and has its roots in Roman chariot worship, is one of the most important religious […]
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