A Bertrange man who for days has been spreading a message of meteorological doom is still insisting that temperatures this week will reach 40 degrees, despite weather forecasts that now say otherwise. Last Wednesday, Jonas Gottfried was the first among his peers to discover news of this week’s heat wave. His formerly meaningless life was […]
Supercomputer ‘totally confused’ by plan to house it in Luxembourg
A European supercomputer scheduled to be installed in Luxembourg in 2020 has issued a sharp rebuke to the plan, saying you don’t need to be capable of performing quadrillions of calculations per second to figure out that it’s too expensive here. “I’m totally confused, because these people tell me I’m going to Luxembourg to help […]
7 minerals other than Luxembourgite that were discovered here
The discovery of a mineral dubbed Luxembourgite near an old mine some time back received a lot of news coverage, but it’s not the only mineral the Grand Duchy can claim as its own. Here are seven others: Rentalium Depositate This mineral is found in recently vacated rentals. It’s formed when repeated pressure, such as […]
8-year-old suspected of stealing millions of Cactus ‘Mega Öko Gang’ cards
A spokesman for Cactus supermarket has confirmed reports of a Sunday night burglary in which millions of promotional animal-themed cards were stolen from an underground vault near Mersh. Rene Faber says the company has identified a suspect, an eight-year-old from Junglinster who hours before the heist was overheard saying he’d “do anything” to get the […]
Grand Duke Jean, 1921 – 2019
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