Now that Duck Race season is here, you might be wondering what became of the previous years’ winners. Here are some of their stories. Ducky McDuckface (2002) The Duckster. Duckarooni. Ducky McDuckface had many nicknames, not all of them nice. Despite a performance which observers called “unimaginative” and compared to “a piece of plastic being […]
Grandparents to begin Saturday morning shopping by getting drunk
Two grandparents from Mamer have announced plans to start their weekly Saturday morning shopping trip by getting a little drunk at the cafe of their preferred commercial center in Bertrange. The first step of the plan is to find a table near the entrance, one that will give them a good view of everyone entering, […]
GuttFellas, possibly coming to a cinema near you
A young international school student, Hendrick Hill, starts running errands for the local Luxembougish mafia, D’Famill, a group of wealthy property owners who actually don’t engage in much crime or violence apart from taking a really (really!) long time to give back rental deposits and driving their Porsches while totally drunk. Even though Hendrick is […]
Western porn star pulls out of Russian
Saying that he cannot wait any longer, European adult film star Rocco Wilder has announced that effective immediately, he is going to pull out of his Russian co-star. “Is that okay with you?” he said to director Frank D’Amore. “Me and Valeriya, we’ve been going at it for 22 minutes straight.” After getting approval, Wilder […]
Number of greeting kisses raised from 3 to 33
In an effort to reinforce a key Luxembourgish social custom, the government has announced that effective immediately, the official number of greeting kisses will be raised to 33. For decades, the number of typical greeting kisses stood at three. However, this was reduced to zero in early 2020 as kisses were replaced by first-bumps, monk-like […]
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