A coalition of the Grand Duchy’s top drinkers have chosen September as the country’s new National Drinking Month. Home to several national beer brands, delicious, locally produced wine, cider, and crémant, and the lowest taxes on alcoholic beverages in Europe, Luxembourg is the perfect place to drink — and this month is the perfect time […]
Multicultural group freezes mid-hello because no one knows which greeting to use
BELVAL — What started out as a chance to have a drink and catch up after the holidays turned into an exhausting ordeal when a group of international students found themselves frozen by extreme uncertainty in the middle of greeting each other. Joshua Bartleby, 21, a North American who organized the meetup, says that within […]
Officials: seasonal outbreak of men wearing scarves indoors ‘imminent’
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Officials have issued a warning about the seasonal outbreak of men wearing scarves indoors, predicting that this year’s bout will arrive as early as next week. “Don’t be fooled by the mild early autumn weather,” said Myriam Bravini, chief fashion virologist for the Grand Duchy’s Office of Urban Apparel. “The season of men […]
Schueberfouer prize scrapped only moments after getting home
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A large soft toy that spent six months travelling around fairs in the Greater Region in hopes of getting won by a loving child has been discarded just moments after arriving in its new home, according to sources. The plush dog, named Dog-Dog by six-year-old Liva Jorgensen after her parents spent nearly fifty […]
We’re insane, admit Luxembourg wasps
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — In response to growing speculation why they are being so aggressive these days, Luxembourg wasps have admitted they are, in fact, going insane. Carole Harespel, a two-week-old worker and spokesvespid for nest LV/2018-83N, located above a residential garage in the capital, warns that she and her fellow wasps will only become more deranged […]
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