Kids, I want to talk to you about the virus that’s going around. I know you’ve learned about it in school, and you’ve probably heard things from other children. It’s true that we can’t protect ourselves from everything, but we can prepare ourselves for the worst. The moment I learned that the coronavirus was headed […]
Moien, um, please restructure your administration to meet my linguistic needs
Moien, bonjour, and guten whatever. Do you speak English? Great, that’s a relief. Um, could you please restructure your administration to meet my linguistic needs? I know, I realize that would require tens of thousands of civil servants to sort of, um, yeah, take one or 10 English courses, a difficult proficiency exam, maybe spend […]
Opinion: Sorry I smiled at you, but I truly believed we knew each other
Hello. I’m the person who smiled at you the other day before I realized we don’t actually know each other. For that, I wish to offer my sincerest apologies. I hope that if I explain myself, you will forgive me for that terribly awkward encounter. I doubt it’s necessary to remind you of the incident, […]
Opinion: We’ve only been neighbors for 5 years and you’re already trying to introduce yourself?
Well hello, yes, we do know each other, but from where? That’s right, your house is next to mine. My wife and I moved in 12 years ago, long before you did. Excellent observation, yes, that means we’ve been neighbors for five years. Nice to meet you too, my name is … Wait a minute. […]
Opposing views: back to school
Life is great! Have you ever woken up, looked outside and noticed that your car was stolen, your neighbor’s dog is pissing in your garden, and that the sky is grey, but still said to yourself: life is great! I know, I know. It’s the end of the summer and we’re supposed to be feeling […]