A Luxembourg City man who was approaching the end of a session with a professional dominatrix has begged her to escalate his pain by showing him local property listings, according to sources. The man, who has been a renter since moving here nine years ago, visits the Kirchberg BDSM dungeon at least once a week. […]
New Church of the Holy Property Market opens in Luxembourg
A new church dedicated to worshipping the bountiful and all-powerful property market has opened its doors in Kirchberg. The inspiration for the church came from Jean-Claude Hustler, whose modest three-bedroom house that his great-grandfather bought for six donkeys and a bottle of wine is now worth two million euros. “I was sitting in my garden […]
A Faustian nightmare: he got to travel back in time to buy a house when the market was better, but now he’s condemned to hang out at City Concorde every afternoon for the rest of eternity
What sounded like the deal of a lifetime has turned into a Faustian nightmare for one Luxembourg man after he made a deal with the Devil to be able to buy a house at the market price of several decades ago. “I was browsing atHome, and I realized I would never be able to afford […]
Doctors successfully remove rental deposit from Luxembourg landlord’s butt
A Luxembourg woman who waited almost a year to get back her rental deposit is celebrating after a team of doctors successfully removed the entire 3600-euro amount from her former landlord’s butt. Alania Clangamora, 29, was surprised when she didn’t get the money back right away after moving out, she says, considering all she ever […]
Government to fix housing crisis by asking people who already own property to shut up about it
Admitting that it’s impossible to make housing in Luxembourg more affordable, officials are instead asking everyone who already owns a home to shut up about it. “The housing market is out of our control,” said Ministry of Housing and Social Blights spokesperson Felix Oberpries. “It’s too strong. It’s like those bodybuilders who used to play […]
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