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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Hungover Luxembourg speculator wakes up and realizes he drunkenly bought housing units for everyone in bar

June 18, 2019

Hungover Luxembourg man

A property speculator from Luxembourg City woke up with a feeling of immense regret on Saturday upon realizing that, during the night of heavy drinking, he bought a round of expensive housing units for total strangers. Trying to piece together the night, Pascal Baptista, 35, remembered that after emptying several bottles of wine while dining […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Real Estate

Supercomputer ‘totally confused’ by plan to house it in Luxembourg

June 11, 2019

Supercomputer ‘totally confused’ by plan to house it in Luxembourg

A European supercomputer scheduled to be installed in Luxembourg in 2020 has issued a sharp rebuke to the plan, saying you don’t need to be capable of performing quadrillions of calculations per second to figure out that it’s too expensive here. “I’m totally confused, because these people tell me I’m going to Luxembourg to help […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, Real Estate, Science and Technology

New Gare-area homeowners telling selves drug dealers ‘add to the charm’

May 13, 2019

dealers

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A couple who recently purchased and moved into a two-bedroom flat near the Gare are trying to convince themselves that having drug dealers line their street at night is actually a bonus to living in the neighborhood. “Pickpockets, beggars, those guys who pass out in our doorway, and the people who sell hard […]

Filed Under: Expats, Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Real Estate

Grandmother bakes cake for investment fund that bought house next door

April 24, 2019

Luxembourg grandma bakes cake for investment fund next door

HOWALD — A local grandmother says she’s eager to meet the new owners of the house next door, and that she’s baking them one of her famous apple cakes to welcome them to the neighbourhood. Madeline Driscoll, 79, says she was delighted that only days after the four-bedroom house was put on the market, it […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle, Luxembourg City, Real Estate, RTL Today

Shocking discovery: hundreds of juniors living in tunnel below Kirchberg

April 10, 2019

Shocking discovery: hundreds of corporate juniors living in tunnel below Kirchberg

KIRCHBERG — Two sisters playing in a patch of trees have made a shocking discovery, one that will radically change our understanding of how those who earn low salaries working 80 hours a week in Luxembourg manage to get by. On Wednesday evening, the two girls saw a young man in a suit walk through […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Real Estate, RTL Today

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The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!

The Idiot of St. Benedict – Order Now!
Prices in Luxembourg City

New shop in center offers usual stuff but at ‘twice the price’ 

Cashier watching you enter PIN

Cashier turns away, attaches blindfold, puts bag over head while you enter PIN

Man thanks LinkedIn

No, please don’t: man thanks people who invite him to connect on LinkedIn

Drug dealer Luxembourgish

Well, it’s a start: Gare dealer offers drugs in Luxembourgish

St. Valentine beheaded

Ghost of beheaded St. Valentine wishes couple a romantic evening

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