A representative for the First-Time Parents Association of Luxembourg has confirmed rumors that its members will “literally buy anything if it’s baby-themed.” “Sensible people and those not overwhelmed by the emotions of being a first-time parent have long claimed that we will purchase anything as long as it comes in pastel colors and has the […]
4 uses of processionary caterpillars
Oak processionary caterpillars are back. These creatures eventually turn into moths – great food for local bats, birds, or the neighbor’s dog that will eat pretty much anything – but in the caterpillar stage, their bodies are covered with toxic bristles that irritate the skin and lungs. As annoying as they are, Luxembourg residents can […]
‘You’ll never defeat me!’ shouts local man, still wearing scarf, at sun
A local man described by friends and family as “your average scarf lover” who “regards a naked neck as unsightly and wrong” has announced that no matter how long this summer heat lasts, he will not admit defeat by removing his scarf. Despite what seems to be a permanent rise in global temperatures and particularly […]
Six modern-day Luxembourg medical problems
During the past several months, Luxembourg health professionals have seen a spike in the frequency of these previously obscure medical problems. Petrol neck A form of whiplash caused by repeatedly bobbing your head as you watch gas prices go up and down. And up and down. And up. Treatment: take public transport twice a day […]
Youth sports tournament gives parents right to start drinking at 10 a.m.
Dozens of mostly Luxembourgish parents have yet again demonstrated respect for a long-standing tradition of drinking in the morning hours of a children’s sports tournament. Last Sunday’s basketball tournament was “as good a reason as any other for some early drinking,” said Marc Groben, cracking open his first beer at 9:49 a.m, immediately following the […]
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