Proving that the country is keeping its eyes on the stars, Luxembourg has announced it has invested 50 million euros in a company that plans on mining a recently photographed black hole. “Some critics say we’re just throwing money into a giant hole, but that’s the point,” said Hubert Sternmann, spokesperson for the government’s Office […]
Grandmother bakes cake for investment fund that bought house next door
HOWALD — A local grandmother says she’s eager to meet the new owners of the house next door, and that she’s baking them one of her famous apple cakes to welcome them to the neighbourhood. Madeline Driscoll, 79, says she was delighted that only days after the four-bedroom house was put on the market, it […]
Shocking discovery: hundreds of juniors living in tunnel below Kirchberg
KIRCHBERG — Two sisters playing in a patch of trees have made a shocking discovery, one that will radically change our understanding of how those who earn low salaries working 80 hours a week in Luxembourg manage to get by. On Wednesday evening, the two girls saw a young man in a suit walk through […]
Queen Elizabeth casually asks Grand Duke Henri for Luxembourgish citizenship
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Explaining that she wanted to see a dear friend and ask for a little favour, on Wednesday Queen Elizabeth II paid an impromptu visit to Grand Duke Henri and off-handedly asked him to grant her Luxembourgish citizenship. “This has nothing to do with that Brexit thing, or those little uncertainties about trade and […]
‘Individually wrapped strawberries,’ announces excited supermarket exec
A supermarket executive responsible for some of Luxembourg’s most popular individually wrapped fruits and vegetables has struck again, this time with another genius idea that takes plastic packaging to a new level. “Here’s what we’re going to do,” he said at a marketing meeting on Thursday morning. “We’re going to take strawberries, and we’re going […]
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