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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Expat survives afternoon of shopping in Trier industrial zone

July 20, 2020

Luxembourg expat in Trier

A wealthy expat from Luxembourg City who visited a store on the outskirts of Trier has described the experience as “a nightmare” and says she feared she might not live to tell the story.  Jeanna Klebertz made the 40-minute journey to Germany to visit a shop that specializes in wood furniture as part of a […]

Filed Under: Expats, Featured Article, Greater Region of Luxembourg, Shopping

Luxembourg store employee returns to full-time not giving a shit

June 29, 2020

BERTRANGE — A store employee who has spent the last month being apathetic part-time has returned to full-time not giving a shit.  “It took a few weeks to get back into the routine and remember how to show minimal interest in the petty concerns of those who enter these premises,” said Damien Sellier, who had […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Shopping

‘Apply hand sanitizer or I’ll crush you,’ says Luxembourg security guard using only his eyes

June 16, 2020

Luxembourg security guard

The thousands of security guards posted at shop entrances all across the Grand Duchy are warning customers that if they fail to apply hand sanitizer before entering, they will be destroyed, according to the security guards’ own hardened eyes.  The guards, most of whom have shaved heads and nicknames like “Pitbull” and “Bone-breaker,” have developed […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Shopping

‘I never signed up for this shit,’ says supermarket employee

March 29, 2020

Supermarket Luxembourg coronavirus employee

A Luxembourg supermarket employee earning minimum wage has confirmed that when she got hired last year, no one told her she might have to sacrifice her own health and life in the line of duty.  “I don’t recall signing anything saying that in case of war, I’d be given a pair of latex gloves and […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Shopping

Mystery solved: people stocking up on toilet paper because not having any sucks

March 14, 2020

Toilet paper mystery solved

In response to widespread confusion about why people are clearing out stocks of toilet paper in this time of the coronavirus pandemic, one intellectually intrepid philosopher says he has figured out why.  “Why do people rush to supermarkets and fill up their shopping cards with toilet paper?” said Dr. Manfred Kneis, professor of logic, mathematics, […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Shopping

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COVID Luxembourg archives
Luxembourg Wurst t-shirts and hoodies
Ursula von der Leyen Amazon review of AstaZeneca

Commission president gives AstraZeneca 1-star review on Amazon

Sales homes Luxembourg

Buy now: homes on sale for 125% of usual price

It's time to recruit drug dealers to get the vaccine for us

Opinion: it’s time to recruit drug dealers to get the vaccine for us

Asian kid not impressed by Luxembourg journalist

Asian kid not impressed by Luxembourg journalist

Expat troll Luxembourg Facebook

Woman quits job to troll expats page full-time

The real story of the red lion, by Wise Expat Sage

Red lion of Luxembourg history

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