A woman who runs a gift shop in the centre of Luxembourg City has admitted to “extreme laziness” and “insensitivity to customers who love holiday-themed junk” as the reason why she’s only now putting out her annual Christmas display. Sources indicate that the shopkeeper only started lighting Christmas-scented candles in the beginning of November, and […]
Confusion, anger as man tries to speak to Delhaize employee in German
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — At least one person was severely confused while a dozen people were left mildly irritated on Wednesday after a man at a Delhaize in the capital attempted to speak German to an employee stocking shelves. “Hallo,” said the man, who was later identified as a Koblenz construction worker named Manfred. “Wo ist der […]
Grand-Rue boutique remains cool thanks to saleswoman’s icy personality
A shop on the Grand-Rue that specialises in designer accessories has become an impromptu refuge from the extreme heat, thanks to a saleswoman named Judith whose icy personality is now serving a purpose. “I was walking along the Grand-Rue, wiping the sweat from my scorched face and wondering if this is what hell is like, […]
‘Individually wrapped strawberries,’ announces excited supermarket exec
A supermarket executive responsible for some of Luxembourg’s most popular individually wrapped fruits and vegetables has struck again, this time with another genius idea that takes plastic packaging to a new level. “Here’s what we’re going to do,” he said at a marketing meeting on Thursday morning. “We’re going to take strawberries, and we’re going […]
Local grandmother announces plan to spend Saturday at Cactus
BERELDANGE — A local grandmother has confirmed that she’s going to Cactus this weekend, ideally late Saturday afternoon when the supermarket is at its fullest. Josette Urbany, 86, admits that although she could schedule her excursion for a quiet weekday morning when vastly fewer people go shopping, she enjoys using her slow movements and limited […]