A Luxembourg resident who spent 20 minutes looking for a “decent but affordable” bottle of wine on Monday settled on one he determined was of superior quality due to an illustration of a castle on the label. “Anytime you see a castle or the word ‘château,’ you know it’s got to be good,” the man […]
Lazy shopkeeper only now putting out Christmas stuff
A woman who runs a gift shop in the centre of Luxembourg City has admitted to “extreme laziness” and “insensitivity to customers who love holiday-themed junk” as the reason why she’s only now putting out her annual Christmas display. Sources indicate that the shopkeeper only started lighting Christmas-scented candles in the beginning of November, and […]
Confusion, anger as man tries to speak to Delhaize employee in German
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — At least one person was severely confused while a dozen people were left mildly irritated on Wednesday after a man at a Delhaize in the capital attempted to speak German to an employee stocking shelves. “Hallo,” said the man, who was later identified as a Koblenz construction worker named Manfred. “Wo ist der […]
Grand-Rue boutique remains cool thanks to saleswoman’s icy personality
A shop on the Grand-Rue that specialises in designer accessories has become an impromptu refuge from the extreme heat, thanks to a saleswoman named Judith whose icy personality is now serving a purpose. “I was walking along the Grand-Rue, wiping the sweat from my scorched face and wondering if this is what hell is like, […]
‘Individually wrapped strawberries,’ announces excited supermarket exec
A supermarket executive responsible for some of Luxembourg’s most popular individually wrapped fruits and vegetables has struck again, this time with another genius idea that takes plastic packaging to a new level. “Here’s what we’re going to do,” he said at a marketing meeting on Thursday morning. “We’re going to take strawberries, and we’re going […]