GASPERICH — Panic filled Luxembourg’s motorways on Wednesday night when a reckless sober driver reportedly obeyed the speed limit, forcing other motorists to slam on their brakes and be confined to a lane. According to sources, the sober driver had attended a birthday party in the center, and rather than drink enough alcohol to diminish […]
Luxembourg mother forced to circle climate march 5 times before finding kid
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Emphasizing that her daughter specifically said she’d hang out at the edge of the Kinnekswiss park to be picked up following a climate march on Friday, a Luxembourg mother has been forced to circle the gathering for a fifth time. “Nadia promised she’d be there at 2:45 p.m.,” the mother said, glancing at […]
Luxembourg woman has wild sexual fantasy in which road workers on her street finish project on time
A resident of Luxembourg City has confessed to her closest friends that for months she’s been devising “an erotic but totally unrealistic” fantasy scenario in which the muscled young men who have spent the last year working on her street enter her home and announce they’ve finished. “I know, I know, it will never happen,” […]
Road worker takes brunt of driver’s anger at self, family, life
A road worker who was directing traffic around a giant hole on Thursday morning became the focus of a local man’s fury when the two made brief contact during rush hour. One lane of a two-lane road had been closed, causing traffic to back up for 500 meters in both directions, resulting in a catastrophic […]
Man survives 46-second walk from air-conditioned car to air-conditioned office
CLOCHE D’OR — A man being called “the Bear Grylls of Luxembourg’s dedicated car-driving community” has survived a harrowing 46 seconds outside in extreme heat while he trekked from his car to his office. On Wednesday, Jacques Becker, a 36-year-old senior lawyer from Wormeldange, was thrust into the life-or-death situation after discovering that someone had […]
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