LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — In response to concerns from newcomers about colleagues offering them alcohol at work in the morning, integration officials have confirmed that it’s fine to get a good buzz at the start of the day as long as it’s “for someone’s birthday.” “If you’re new here, it might seem absurd to be called to […]
Small business owner has nightmare in which he’s forced to give everyone a raise
PETANGE — A brasserie owner woke up visibly shaken in the early hours of Tuesday after having what he described as “a terrible nightmare” in which he was forced to give everyone on his staff a salary increase of 2.5 percent. “No, no, I won’t do it,” the man shouted while burying his head under […]
When they learned the new guy would be alone on Christmas, the whole office joined together to avoid him
CAPELLEN — Proving that Christmas magic can happen but just not this year, when the employees of a software company found out the new guy would be alone on Christmas, they decided to something special: totally avoid him until at least the 27th. On Thursday morning, communication officer Francesca Loreto was the first to learn […]
Five traditional jobs that are disappearing from Luxembourg
While it might take several decades for taxi drivers and restaurant servers to be replaced by robots, here are five traditional jobs in Luxembourg that will soon disappear forever. Potato whisperer Back when potatoes were believed to be sentient, every village in Luxembourg had a potato whisperer. These folks, usually a bit smelly under the […]
Oops: malfunctioning indexation mechanism gives Luxembourg workers raise of 23,456 percent
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Saying “whoa, hey, somebody stop that thing,” Luxembourg government officials stood by helplessly as the mechanism that was developed to automate salary indexation malfunctioned, giving everyone a pay increase of 23,456 percent. The red-faced officials admitted that although the increase was enormous and would likely bankrupt every employer, there was nothing they could […]
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