Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Meeting plunged into English due to single anglophone

GASPERICH — A department meeting was plunged into total English on Wednesday, causing moderate levels of confusion and leaving at least one person severely annoyed. The monthly gathering — comprising 18 employees from seven different countries — is usually held in French. However, it quickly became apparent that a new anglophone employee was suffering from […]

Officials: seasonal outbreak of men wearing scarves indoors ‘imminent’

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Officials have issued a warning about the seasonal outbreak of men wearing scarves indoors, predicting that this year’s bout will arrive as early as next week. “Don’t be fooled by the mild early autumn weather,” said Myriam Bravini, chief fashion virologist for the Grand Duchy’s Office of Urban Apparel. “The season of men […]

Luxembourgish boss forces entire office to order fish at Schueberfouer dinner

GLACIS — A casual office dinner at the Schueberfouer on Wednesday turned into a display of tyrannical power as the Luxembourgish boss who organized the event compelled all 17 employees present to eat the traditional fried fish. “I’d like the veal cordon bleu,” said receptionist Agnes Molnar, 31, when the waitress arrived at the table. […]

Woman can’t wait to go on vacation and spend a little time catching up on work emails

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Saying that nothing will be more relaxing than sorting out and prioritizing the 12,403 emails that have filled her inbox during the last couple months, a Luxembourg department head is looking forward to spending her upcoming vacation sitting on a quiet beach with her family and staring at her tablet all day. “The […]