An expat couple who moved to Thionville from Luxembourg City have grown so desperate for visitors that they’re now offering to pay for PCR tests for anyone who will visit them.
“That’s fine if you don’t want to get a test,” said Lola Hirsch, who made the move with her partner more than three years ago yet hasn’t had a single visitor from Luxembourg since then. “You can keep the money, and we’ll just smuggle you over the border in the boot of our car.”
“I’ll put some fancy drinks in there, give you some pillows with brand-new 300-thread-count covers,” she added. “Please, I’m begging you.”
“Just tell me what you want for dinner and I’ll make it,” said Hirsch’s partner Phil Kulik. “A kobe steak with truffle sauce? Pizza topped with Beluga caviar? Whatever you want.”
Even under normal circumstances, it’s very difficult for people who move over the border to lure visitors from the Grand Duchy, according to experts. Now, with Covid, it’s nearly impossible. Consequently, Hirsch and Kulik are not alone in their feelings of loneliness and desperation.
One expat who in 2019 moved to Messancy, Belgium – which is either 20 or 200 kilometers away from Luxembourg City, according to various sources – has resorted to stealing his Luxembourg friends’ personal belongings and holding them hostage.
Another expat who moved to a village in Germany called Perl, believed to be somewhere between Stuttgart and Mannheim, has resorted to telling friends he was going to take them on a free trip to Dubai but instead drives them to his house and sabotages his own car so everyone is stuck there.