A Luxembourg man has raised his arms and sung hymns of praise after successfully booking an early morning half-hour slot at his fitness center next week.
“I heard that my gym was open again, but not from them because apparently they yet haven’t yet mastered the difficult art of website and social media updates,” said Claudio Furtado, 23. “I learned it from a friend whose dad heard it from his cleaning lady because her nephew knows a girl who works there.”
“I haven’t been this happy since the government re-legalized going jogging after 9 p.m. and affirmed my right to buy socks,” he added.
Because Furtado hasn’t exercised or lifted anything heavier than a bowl of cereal in two months, he wants to make the most of his precious 30 minutes, he says.
“I’ve already planned a killer workout during which I’ll lift weights non-stop while I run on the treadmill,” he said. “If I can get another half hour next month, I’ll combine arm day, leg day, cycling, and core exercises.”