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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Luxembourg housewife has wild fantasy in which sweaty workers come to her house to say they’ve finished roadworks on her street

September 18, 2019

A resident of Luxembourg City has confessed to her closest friends that for months she’s been devising “an erotic but totally unrealistic” fantasy scenario in which the muscled young men who have spent the last year working on her street enter her home and announce they’ve finished.

“I know, I know, it will never happen,” said Silvia Russo, 31. “But just talking about it makes me so excited. Oh, wow.”

She admits the details do change depending on her mood — sometimes the workers are wearing hard hats and are shirtless and sweaty, and other times they’re clad in slippery rain gear and holding signs which in her fantasy mean “don’t yield when entering” — but the sequence of events is always the same. 

“I’ve just finished my evening bath and I’m drying my hair, and the door buzzes and I’m kind of embarrassed because I’m not made up,” she says. “But instead of ignoring the buzzer or asking who’s there, I just throw the door open.”

“And then I see it’s the construction guys, all eight of them, and I know there are eight of them because they’ve been out there digging holes since before Jesus was born and I’ve had far too many occasions to count them.”

In the fantasy, Russo says, the men crowd into her living room and they’re so excited that they don’t even notice that she’s only wearing a skimpy bathrobe and has a roll of toilet paper stuck to her foot.

“The boss, the tall one with the silver hair and penetrating gaze, he steps forward and says in Italian — Does he speak Italian? Who cares? —  that they’ve got a surprise for me.”

“’Signora, we have completed our project ahead of schedule, and you’ll once again be able to park on your own street,’” she said. “So sexy.”

Sources close to Russo say this is the second elaborate sexual fantasy she’s become obsessed with this year. Last spring, she spoke of a recurring hot dream in which an employee at the gym she’s been going to for the past five years appears to remember her.

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