Members of Vladimir Putin’s increasingly small group of advisors are too afraid to tell the Russian president that he has got a fish stuck to his head, Western sources have revealed.
The fish, believed to be a herring, has been stuck to Putin’s head since early Thursday morning, according to British intelligence.
However, one unsubstantiated report claims the fish was already sitting on the leader’s head while he was brushing his teeth before going to bed on Wednesday.
“We don’t know why the fish is there, and we don’t know what it means, but we believe that everyone in Putin’s inner circle is too scared to tell him about it,” says NATO spokesperson José Contreras. “They don’t know how he will react, and frankly, neither do we.”
“President Putin might get angry,” Contreras continued. “Or he might laugh. He might decide to ban fish exports. Or he might take the herring, open its little herring mouth, and do funny voices and sing Russian folk songs.”