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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Shoulder touch at party leads to orgy of hand shaking and cheek kissing

June 14, 2021

What started as a friendly touch on the shoulder by a guest at an outdoor gathering turned into a bacchanalian orgy of uninhibited physical contact that had not been seen since earlier, pre-Covid times.

The outburst occurred at a park just south of Luxembourg City on Saturday when one last of the approximately 25 guests to arrive jovially greeted a friend with a light pat on her shoulder. 

“Oh, so we’re touching again,” the 29-year-old woman said, taking the man’s hand and shaking it vigorously while the others looked on enviously. 

The other guests, many of whom had been limiting  themselves to unsatisfying first bumps for the past 18 months, found themselves unable to resist the allure of real skin-on-skin contact in everyday social interactions.

Within seconds, everyone at the party was either shaking hands and not letting go or kissing each other on the cheek 10, 20, or in the case of one wild guest, 203 times. 

“That felt so good,” said Pauline Smorken, 29, after spending a very hot 15 minutes re-greeting every man and woman in the group.

“Oh, I needed that,” Rodrigo Cordero, 31, who had not touched another human since December when he accidentally bumped into a grandmother at a bus stop.

According to reports, one guest did attempt to give out hugs, but his behavior was deemed to be “abhorrent,” “perverted,” and “going too far,” and he was asked to leave.

While everyone said the experience was unprecedented in terms of pure bodily pleasure, afterwards they immediately felt ashamed and doused themselves in hand sanitizer and many departed, according to one source.

The same source has indicated that the next morning, everyone continued to feel dirty and ashamed, and using veiled language in a group chat, they agreed to never speak about the incident again.  

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Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article

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