An expat couple who relocated to the Grand Duchy three years ago have become increasingly territorial and have determined that too many people are being allowed to move here. “It’s just outrageous how they keep letting more and more people in, making life more difficult for those of us who have grown roots here,” said […]
Archives for March 2018
Luxembourg urging residents to adopt new greeting
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Aware of the language uncertainty many residents face when greeting each other, the Grand Duchy’s Office of Applied Linguistic Integration is urging people to adopt a newly created word. “We spent nearly a year trying to solve this problem,” said Virginie Muller, the office’s chief language officer. “If we asked everyone in Luxembourg […]
Panic as ‘giant ball of fire’ appears above Luxembourg
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Widespread confusion and panic overtook much of Luxembourg-ville and its environs today after an object resembling “a giant ball of fire” appeared in the sky, according to hundreds of witnesses. Jeannette Kuchen, who commutes to Luxembourg from Metz, says that as soon as she exited the Gare this morning, she observed hundreds of […]
Opinion: If I let you merge in front of me, next thing you’ll be trying to sleep with my wife
Oh sure, I see you in your little Twingo, your left indicator light blinking, showing that you’d like to merge in front of me. Nope, not today man. If I let you merge in front of me, the next thing is you’ll be trying to sleep with my wife. Let me tell you something: […]
Officials: all of Luxembourg to be closed until this shit ends
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Citing hundreds of construction projects, roadworks on nearly every street, plus the highly disruptive building of the tram line through the city center, VDL officials have announced that they are just going to close off the whole place until this shit ends. “We don’t know when this shit will end, but when it […]