WALFERDANGE – A local woman has confirmed that despite having otherwise vanilla sexual fantasies, she can only reach orgasm by thinking about the sales rack at a German discount supermarket. “My kinky dreams are quite commonplace,” said Audrey Tindler. “A postman asking if he can step inside until the scary chihuahua stops chasing him. A […]
Confirmed: it always rains in Luxembourg
Despite some recent and obviously false claims, it has always rained non-stop in Luxembourg, and it will always rain non-stop in Luxembourg, it has been confirmed. “Some people – delusional or simply dishonest, it’s hard to say – have publicly stated that for several weeks it did not rain,” said Carlo Reenmann, a realist who […]
Giving girls dollhouses creates ‘unrealistic, harmful belief that they’ll be homeowners one day’
A study from the University of Wiltz has confirmed what many parenting experts have warned about for years: giving girls dollhouses may lead them to believe that they will eventually be able to afford a home. “It’s fine to give girls toys like Barbies and rocket ships because there is indeed a chance they’ll become […]
WTF! Kid just shows up and asks if child can play
In what’s being called a “major anomaly that obliges us to question the nature of reality,” a neighbor boy has just shown up at a home to ask if the child who lives there would like to play. On Saturday afternoon, the neighbor boy – known only as “the kid from that house on the […]
Cheap-ass wine must be amazing because it has gold medal sticker
A three-euro bottle of wine that any reasonable person could immediately deduce is awful has nevertheless been enthusiastically purchased because it is adorned with a golden sticker. Mike Crayton says he was shopping at a discount supermarket when the bottle, which was on display on the bottom of shelf in the drinks section, hidden behind […]
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