A woman from the northern town of Wiltz has denied that Wiltz is in the north. “Wiltz is actually quite central, and some might even say that we are on the edge of the Minett, the southern lands,” she said. “I once found a red rock in my garden. We can drive down to Mersch […]
This is how wars start: shopper fails to place little barrier for person behind him
In what’s being compared to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and the joke about Will Smith’s wife during the Academy Awards, a shopper in a check-out queue has chosen to not place a little barrier on the conveyor belt for the person behind him. The dastardly deed was committed at a popular Kirchberg supermarket […]
Extreme aggression: this asshole calls people
In what is being called a case of extreme aggression bordering on pathological rage, a Luxembourg asshole has been using his phone to call people. According to reports, Pedro Ferreira has verbally contacted as many as nine people in the last week alone. The victims include three friends, two colleagues, and a family member who […]
Office one sharp word away from total collapse
A Luxembourg company that employs more than 120 people is facing certain ruin if even a single sharp word is said within its building, it has been revealed. The precariousness is due to end-of-the-year pressure, a sickening lack of sunlight, and seasonal malaise suffered by nearly all of the employees of Luxlo Services, say local […]
Expat wants you to know he has seen worse snow
A man who happens to come from a more mountainous part of the world has taken the opportunity to remind you that he has seen more snow than this. “That’s funny that they’re making a big deal about this so-called snow,” he said on Thursday morning to highly interested colleagues. “It’s nothing, just a few […]
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