A member of the species Urus maritimus, which usually inhabit regions near the Arctic circle, has been observed in the countryside near Mamer. “At first I was shocked,” said Abigail Watterson, who spotted the polar bear on Friday morning while walking her Shih Tzu named Mimi. “But considering the massive and totally unprecedented storm that […]
Dudelange hipster making own vaccine
Describing corporate vaccines as “a dull assemblage of mass-tested mRNA that show no imagination or nuance,” a hipster from Dudelange has announced he is making his own vaccine. “Big Pharma vaccines are all the same,” said Michel Paracetti, who in the past experimented with brewing his own beer, designing t-shirts with ironic messages, and raising […]
British variants in Luxembourg already seeking nationality
Several individual variants of the so-called UK coronavirus strain that have been identified in Luxembourg in recent days have already taken steps to obtain Luxembourgish nationality, according to the viruses themselves. All of the mutated viruses have already signed up for online Luxembourgish courses, and they’ve also begun seeking advice and tips in expat forums. […]
It couldn’t wait till Monday: fairy godmother appears and fixes Luxembourg woman’s grey roots
A Luxembourg woman who fell into a pit of despair after closely examining her grey roots was miraculously saved when her fairy godmother appeared with a hair dye kit. The woman, a 29-year-old resident of Ettelbruck, has been carefully counting the days until hair salons are allowed to reopen next week. However, she had an […]
The current measures are too strict … I mean, we need stricter measures
I’ve honestly had it up to here with the government. One day we’re the Greater Region’s shining model of sensibility and balance in regards to Covid measures, and the next day Mr. Bettel and his minions slap us with a curfew of 11, and a day later they drop the curfew to nine o’clock. What […]
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