REMICH — Members of a Luxembourgish Navy special forces unit have rescued as many as 400 potatoes that were being held captive in a foreign-registered ship. The ship, called Tigress of the Moselle, was transporting passengers on a full-day pleasure cruise when a Luxembourgish intelligence unit learned it was also carrying an unknown number of […]
UN to take over Luxembourg City roadworks disaster
NEW YORK — Describing the driving situation in Luxembourg City as “so bad that even the leather-clad masochists who used to flock there just to get stuck in traffic are running away,” the United Nations has announced it will be taking over the reconstruction of the city’s streets. Operation UNMILV calls for hundreds of peacekeeping […]
Grrr: senior citizen at cash machine takes ages to find slot for bomb
ESCH-SUR-ALZETTE — A line of criminals waiting to blow up a cash machine early Thursday morning had to wait 15 minutes while an elderly thief in front of them struggled to find the right place to insert his explosive device. “Hey, grandpa, we don’t have all day,” angrily whispered Hubert Beenhouwer, who was already late […]
Idiot sober driver making everyone else slow down
GASPERICH — Panic filled Luxembourg’s motorways on Wednesday night when a reckless sober driver reportedly obeyed the speed limit, forcing other motorists to slam on their brakes and be confined to a lane. According to sources, the sober driver had attended a birthday party in the center, and rather than drink enough alcohol to diminish […]
Civil servant able to communicate using only half-dead look in eyes
DINGLEDANGE — Residents of this rural commune have been flocking to see a local state employee who has a rare talent: he can communicate using nothing more than a half-dead look in his eyes. “He doesn’t use words, not in the traditional sense,” says longtime resident Pol Toumblé, who estimates he’s interacted with civil servant […]
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 124
- 125
- 126
- 127
- 128
- …
- 177
- Next Page »