LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A steel company employee known to fake illness at least twice a month has been recognized for her tremendous achievements in acting. At its annual awards ceremony on Friday, the Luxembourg Work Actors’ Guild awarded Aurélie Bardol the Best Acting Sick prize, a golden statuette of a man calling in sick while simultaneously […]
Lunchtime horror: pack of feral bankers go on rampage through Auchan
KIRCHBERG — Hundreds of savage bank employees swarmed into the Auchan commercial centre around 12:30 p.m. on Friday, fanning out in every direction and cleaning out all of the estimated 1500 freshly made sandwiches in just over four minutes. Katrin Mikko, out shopping with her newborn son, was queuing at one of the downstairs bakeries […]
Faking sickness in Luxembourg: three easy steps
In some countries, faking sickness requires careful preparation and an acting performance worthy of an Oscar. Not in Luxembourg. Want a few days off just because it’s Tuesday, the weather is bad, or your cat ate all the Nutella again? Follow these three steps: Inform your boss In the morning, send an email saying […]
Party leaders exhausted after spending week removing campaign posters
Respecting a tradition that goes back hundreds of years, the leaders of Luxembourg’s political parties have spent a grueling week driving around the country, climbing ladders, and taking down their campaign posters one by one. “Sure, this isn’t as much fun as meeting world leaders and going to fancy parties, and I do get rather […]
Nonconformist expat looking for unreliable cleaning lady
MERL — A newcomer to Luxembourg who is known at home for his contrarian beliefs and refusal to conform to societal expectations has announced that he is looking for an unreliable cleaning lady. “Hello, I know this question has been asked before, but I would like a recommendation for a cleaning lady,” he posted last […]
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