Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

New Lux dating app directly guides matches to divorce because that is the inevitable ending

With observers calling it “a cheap and easy shortcut to the inevitable conclusion of nearly every coupling in this country,” a new Luxembourg dating app immediately directs matching users to get divorced.  “LuxSplit saves prospective lovebirds time and money while guiding them through a quick and easy divorce,” said developer Tamer Godwyn, who has also […]

Oh, no: NATO meant to send Putin a warning letter but accidentally gave him this adorable photo of kitten

In what is being compared to General Eisenhower trying to send Hitler a note that said “surrender now” but instead giving him a fantastic recipe for rhubarb pie, NATO has accidentally mailed Russian president Vladimir Putin a photo of a kitten. NATO spokesperson Bernard Easibrot said that the organization had intended on posting Putin a […]

UN declares Luxembourg world’s cutest country

Following an emergency session to recognize its most darling members, the UN has declared that Luxembourg is the world’s cutest country.  UN Secretary General António Guterres said that despite stiff competition for the title, the Grand Duchy was a shoo-in.  “Brunei, Malta, Lichtenstein, these are all adorable, but Luxembourg is the adorable-est,” he said. “With […]

Luxembourg parliament accidentally votes in favor of vaccine ‘man dates’

Luxembourg’s parliament on Tuesday voted nearly unanimously in favor of vaccine “man dates,” a typo that is now law and unfortunately cannot be undone. “I don’t know what man dates are exactly, but I’ve seen enough Hollywood comedies to make a guess,” said one deputy from the CSV. “It’s when a couple of dudes go […]